Sunday, July 8, 2012

First child - a hand grenade?

"Having a first child is like throwing a hand grenade into a marriage" Those are strong words from much-quoted Nora Ephron.  Do you agree?  I think it is true that one of the first casualties of parenthood is our relationship with our partner.  Far from cementing a relationship, the arrival of a child can drive a wedge between even the most committed couples.  As a GP I often counseled frazzled, stressed-out mothers to try to regain a sense of control and to find some sort of time to connect properly with their partner.  The kids don't benefit from a parent and a relationship that is not only functioning and "whole" but that is tense and falling apart.
How often do you spend time alone together , either after the kids are in bed at night or during a night out?   Do you have a set date night once a month or even weekly?  If you don't already have a set time, can you consider how you can work this into your week?  Perhaps consider who can help you achieve it - it may be family, friends, a professional child-minding service or a combination of both.  Dr KB.   

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